3 generations under one roof

 My grandson John is on the final hours of being an infant, with ten hours left to go until he was born a year ago. I find myself getting somewhat misty here, perhaps more then I should be, but it has been a wonderful year for him.   Ray and I found out within minutes of my daughter getting a positive EPT test. It was a special time that I was able to share with my daughter and my boyfriend at the same time. 

When my daughter announced she was pregnant with John’s older sister Alexis almost five years ago she was just 16. I got mad and told her to get out, while my husband told her to go to her room, yes he grounded her. My response was not much better I admit it. I was angry she had gotten pregnant on purpose after losing another baby when she was fifteen.  Her first baby was still born as the result of a cord accident nine weeks before her due date. I was angry my daughter would get pregnant again as quick as a teenager.

I was there when my daughter gave birth to all of her children. I could not imagine giving birth to a dead baby. However, my daughter did what she needed to do, and even picked out the burial outfit, while she was calmly doing this I had tears streaming down my face. When she gave birth to Alexis my daughter turned purple and needed oxygen, and my first words when I seen Lexi turning her head as she emerged I yelled its alive Amber. Until Lexi was born we did not know she was a girl, and after Kylie is was hard to get excited about Lexi.  Man I have spoiled her since she was born though.

Then Amber got pregnant for John and I was proud and excited. I asked Ray how it felt to have a grandson before his only child even hit puberty. Ray He was as excited as I was, and we shopped for John from the moment we knew he was a boy when my daughter was only four and a half months along.  When Amber went into Ray sat by the phone, when John slid out just before 6:30 on October 1 2007, I quickly snapped a photo and sent it to Ray who came right over. Ray held Johnny before Amber’s father did, and Johnny and Ray bonded so fast.

When my daughter returned to work, I was the baby sitter, and since I working all night working anyways I often take care of him when he is wake for a bottle or a diaper change.  When he took his first steps a few months ago, he walked that first step from his momma to me.  He is too funny when he chases my daughter or his big sister, and laughs even louder when they turn around and chase him.

Now in less then 10 hours he is going to be one year old.  Man where did the last year go, it seems to have gone by in the blink of an eye.

Working from home, as a freelance writer is fun, but I sure miss having co-workers to giggle with occasionally. I also miss venting with the coworkers, and general stuff I miss the socialization that comes from having co-workers. Co-workers that you can ask questions of, and perhaps share an occasional idea with bounce ideas off. I used to work, as a CNA is a local nursing home and would look forward to my breaks when I could talk with friends and get my mind off work or ask how to do something. My group is now Accentuate writers’ forum and I feel as if I am among friends in there.

There are many leads for writing jobs that pay, and truthfully that it what I joined for. I found a lot more then I bargained for and I am enjoying is more and more daily.  I have just entered my second short story contest. Accentuate writers’ forum has them every few months.  I entered my first one shortly after joining in August in 2008, and my story did not fit the theme but I still felt as if I could submit it.

I admit the first story was total crap, I entered it and in my own mind I won. This was a personal triumph for me, as I never had the guts to enter one before.  My second rocked, I needed some help with grammar, and I got it from Angel a friendly forum member.  Come on over and spread your wings with us at Accentuate Writer’s forum  you will see the link tot he forum on the left hand side.

Myspace is a great social networking site, as you all know. There are some dangers there, but there is also some great fun. The kids and I all play myspace mobsters, as we all enjoy the challenge.  More importantly, we discuss strategies and so forth.  We talk, so what if it is a game the important thing is that we are helping each other learn the game, which is a great thing.

Does it matter that we talk about a game?  I don’t think so, because it opens the doors to other talking. Taking time to sit and talk with your kids about what they are doing even if it is just playing a game is so important. Family is important, and your kids are priceless and so are their insights.

For those of you who only have younger children, you have no clue what the teenage years will bring. If you can get teenagers to sit for five minutes to talk with you, you are doing very well. . It is funny when they were little I always wanted them to hurry up and grow up, now that they are bigger I want them little once more.

Man the past year has went by fast. My grandson was born October 1, of last year. It does not seem that long ago.  He is the best baby I have ever known, he only cries when he is hungry or wants a bottle. It has always been that way.  None of my babies was like that, so he is a blessing.

He started walking a few days after he turned 9 months old, which seemed unreal, as he is a bigger baby.  He went into a Rain forest jump-a-roo by fisher price at about 5 months and I believe that is what helped him to gain the strength in his legs so he could walk faster.  He is running, I kid you not. Loves to chase you, and then will turn around to have you chase him.   My great nephew who is three weeks younger and was in this rain forest jump-a-roo also walked quite early, even thought he is bigger then Johnny.  

As the next few days slip by us, I keep looking at him and singing that Alabama song Never be one again. Yes, I know that song was about a little girl, but I cannot help myself. Gosh, I love interacting with him. It is so sweet to see him running all over. We are on a five day count down until his first birthday.

Some people may wonder why I am a single mom. That answer is simple, my husband and I had a difference of opinion three years ago, and he thought he could have a girlfriend and a wife.  I am not one to share my possessions or those I love dearly so he was told to hit the road.  

We got married back in 1986, so this was a long-term marriage. I thought we would be one of those couple who would make it.  I was wrong, and that is because he could not leave the alcohol alone, but I am so sure the mental illness played a huge role in that.  Self-medicating is a huge part of mental illness and well alcohol was his choice.

It is funny looking back in our early days of marriage. He said he would love me until the end of time. He was full of presents and romance.  It was wonderful and I felt like a queen you know. A bad thing called bipolar which is a mental illness that was once called manic depression claimed the life of my husband. Granted that man is still very much alive, but the essence of him is gone.

Life as a dating mom is much tougher then I thought it would be two years ago. For the most part my kids like my boyfriend, but all three say he will never be called dad. That is fine by me, as I would not want them calling my ex-husband’s girlfriend mom. I am not being malicious or anything but I went to school with her and that would be quite the insult to me.

This is a personal blog and right about now it is going to get all kinds of personal. That is fair warning dear readers. It is hard to say who pissed me off more today. Could I be madder at my youngest child who told me no when I asked for help with the lawn? I dealt with that and it got better. Lawn still not mowed but I will do it in the morning when it is light.

Could it be my older son, whom I have given numerous chances at trust? He shows a huge lack of responsibility. He returned about forty dollars worth of cans for extra money. I said fine but asked him to bring me a case of Pepsi so I would not have to go out.  He totally blew me off he never came home.

Am I upset with my daughter who yelled at me because she was having a bad day? This is my house. She should not allow her kids to trash it if she feels lazy. I have enough work to do with articles, and regular housework on a daily basis. To make extra work for me is not nice. Although it is great some days that they are here, that is not the case everyday. It has gotten much worse since she went on this new birth control, Nuva ring. She is very moody these days.

Then it could be my boyfriend as well, who left town to go work in King of Prussia for three days. He will be working 8-hour shifts down there, same as he did here. However, he gets travel time, which is paid and this time around, it is about a day’s worth of pay. Now I will have to attend the viewing and funeral without him and that just burns me up.

Today had been one of those days when I wish I would have never crawled out of bed. Anyway, since it is almost midnight, and I got a good few hour nap I am up for the night. I hope that when it turns Wednesday in a few minutes that it begins a better day than yesterday was.

Associated content could make it a whole lot sweeter if they give me a nice update on time and up at least $60 bucks than the last update.

I often visited with my maternal grandparents in the carefree summers of my childhood. I loved it, we went to the fairs where she often had baked goods or produce entered. My grandma did not just enter items in the county fair; she entered every type of fair that was possible. I loved going everywhere with them, I felt as if I was the chosen grandchild out of many.  

She entered heads of cabbage, carrots, radishes, corn, and everything imaginable from her garden in these fairs. We would always weed the garden in the morning, each day doing a row as grandpa was behind us doing his magical touches. Grandma would try to tell Grandpa How to do everything, and I think sometimes he just pretended to do something wrong just to get her to yell. He would always reply, “Ruth the garden will grow, even if you do it the other way.” She would give him a look as if to say, “Do not push it Jonas” and I knew better then to let the giggles escape.  Grandma was meticulous about her garden and if things were not done the way she liked exactly, she got upset.   

I learned a lot those days about how to grow huge vegetables and fruits without Miracle Grow or other manufactured fertilizers. No food went into the garbage can in her house, nor the dog dish. While most people would toss food scraps into a pail for the compost pile, my grandma required everything in the pail to be mashed.   

The pail was brought outside where it was mashed near the garden, and as you mashed she would toss in deformed but fine vegetables as the sunset. The good with the bad makes it all turn out right she would say.  The pail was then dumped out on the ground behind the garden on top of the dirt and other food waste from the kitchen. 

Even on those days when we would visit a fair, grandma required garden work every morning and every evening. She never used a hose on her garden when it needed it, instead she would scoop rainwater caught in barrels under the eave troughs. She said tap water was very bad for a garden of life, and looking at her bounty at the end of the season along with the ribbons from the fairs you knew she was right.  Grandma and grandpa are both long gone, but their spirit remains and as I tend my own garden I use the same things my grandma taught me 30 years ago.

Luckily, that nasty flu bug is working its way out of here. I was not hit as hard as my kids and the grand kids were hit, thank God. I am glad they are all feeling better as the lawn needs to be mowed. Its most likely the last one of the season.  When you are single, most of the work falls on your shoulders that part sucks. Yes, I have two teenagers and a young adult daughter in the house, but they work outside the home.

 I wish I lived in the country, because I would buy a few goats and let them eat the grass.  Then I could milk the goat and make my own cheese, and have fresh milk. Screw that, I was raised in between farms and let me tell you they stunk.  My parents had horses, pigs, chickens and a few goats but never a big barn with cows.

Do you know what is cool about raising pigs? You get to ride them! Yes, I am quite serious I did that as a kids, to us kids they we like short fat slow moving horses. Yes I am rambling but it’s been that kind of day.

In yesterday’s post, I wrote about the flu bug. During the night, the darned bug released its hold on two of my family but grabbed another two.  My daughter and the baby are sick with it now, and I the last remaining non-affected person as of this morning am feeling the stirrings of it now.

Ray, sent toilet paper, and Imodium with my niece, as both were in short supply.  Alex who is feeling much better stocked the rest of us with drinks for the next few days and other grocery items, which were all needed.

The flu bug is slowly making its way thought my house but hopefully when I am feeling better it will not hit us a second time.  In the meantime, after I complete this blog entry, write the other one, i will be heading back to my bed. It is awful to work through this as I am very achy, my belly is rolling, and my bowels are just rumbling. 

The flu bug is here.  Would someone please take it away? A little one is vomiting, while a bigger one has the back door trots, another one has it both ways.   Lord, I hate days like this.

You maybe thinking it is too early for the flu, but when someone in the household (my daughter) works in a nursing home the flu comes early. It keeps going around.  I remember those days when i was a nurse’s aide in nursing homes. Even before the flu season hit the public, it was rampant in the nursing home.  That was truly a nasty night at work when you have to clean up the mess of the flu bug several times a nice, from several residents.  

That is what I am thinking today as I clean up my grand daughter after each time, my boys though are pretty much on their own as teenagers. I will grab clothes, fresh cups of water or gateraide, but umm I am done cleaning out your messy drawers. 

 I am trying to write and get things accomplished, but time is quickly passing. My grand daughter will be leaving soon to spend the weekend with her dad as she has for about 3 years now. It is all she knows.  She’s with us from Sunday night until Thursday night when she leaves with her daddy. I miss her so much when she is gone, as my house is too quiet!