3 generations under one roof

After Nita left, my husband went out looking for me, I turned left on my walk, but he turned right out of the road leading to the swim hole. That left turn i took saved my life in many ways that day. When he came looking for me I was already out of sight so he in his drunken way of thinking thought I would walk the 40 miles home or at least attempt too.

I would link to the article that documents the accident and his blood alcohol level but that may get me in trouble. His BAC was .128. He passed out according to the police report doing a high rate of speed and hit two sixteen year old girls head one. Luckily, air bags deployed and the girls were treated and released at a local hospital.

He suffered damage that day, broken toe, broken bone in his left check, numerous cuts that required stitches on his arm and leg. He lost his girlfriend, totaled her car, and lost me, that day. His stuff was packed in garage bags and set outside

He told me that day that he hit a light pole. It took 3 months for the real truth to emerge in the Towanda Daily review about mid September 2005. That is when I learned he hit the girls head on. I was so angry, what if that had been our kids? Our kids are now 16,.18 and 21 so just subtract three years, and you will see that it could have been our kids. 

 I heard my husband yell to her that he loved her, and she yelled it back to him. It became a competition to see who could yell it the loudest. I felt like I was going to throw up, I could feel my heart thumping, and I was beyond angry. I finally got my senses back to me and yelled it’s over (curse deleted). My husband and the other two all laughed at me.

I got up and walked to the car, to use his phone to call my dad to come get me. Even though I was at least 40 miles from home, I know the general location of where I was. The cell phone was locked, so I walked back to where they were and demanded his code. My husband would not give me the code to unlock it so I did what I felt the need to do. I threw it as hard as I could, watching it tumble off the rocks and land at the waters edge. Again they laughed, man was I angry, hurt but totally wired.

Not having any money on me, I picked up my husband’s wallet took all the money out of it. I left the area and began walking down the road in the direction of the only small town I knew of in that area.

That was the hardest walk I ever had, but I made it to the next town in just less than half an hour. Over the next hour, I would pass out in a convenience store, and throw up in another convenience store and on a bus I took home. That was a long bus ride, but I finally made it home. I called my parents and they rushed to my side.

My husband began calling me and I would hang up on him. He finally called our daughter at her house and told her to call me and tell me to talk the call. That was when he told me he had the accident that totaled his girlfriend’s car. I laughed, man I so needed it, and sober now he could not understand why I laughed. He asked to come home I told him no. I asked him about Nita and he said shortly after I left she had taken off with the other guy on the motorcycle.

At the swimming hole my husband, Nita and the other man were all playing in the water. Imagine three adults playing in the water like children, splashing, laughing, and having a good time. Just as children would do to save their clothes from getting wet, the three of them stripped to their underwear.

As I sat there on the creek bank, fighting a migraine I was seeing a very different part of my husband then I had ever seen. I was realizing that I did not know my husband at all, it was as if he was another man.

I am sure Nita’s husband had no clue she acted like this with men other than him. He seemed like such a nice man, and was always pleasant when the four of us would go out to dinner or Karaoke. I just had a feeling that there was indeed more going on than just the platonic relationship. My fears were soon to become a reality and when I heard the next words, I could not move.

 Stay tuned for the next blog

Yesterday (10/27)I got the envelope, which envelope you may ask. My ex-husband had been stopping by a few times a week for the past month for this envelope. What was so important with this one envelope? It contained his driver’s license. Before I share what I did with this envelope let me take you back in time to June 30, 2005. I considered my marriage over that day. I have changed the names of my family within this blog for valid reasons, but it is truthful to the best of my knowledge.

It was a beautiful summer day, and it was our youngest son’s last day of an extended school year. My plans were to clean up and have a little celebration dinner that night at our youngest Jimmy was finishing sixth and seventh grades at once. My husband of nineteen years told me he most likely would not be home until late as he was taking off with friends from work. I asked if Nita would be there, and he replied that he thought she might be there. I had long suspected and often asked if something were going on between the two of them, he assured me it was platonic before this day.  

I took the gamble once more and asked the question that had been on my mind for at least 9 months. Yes, I had asked it often but today thing were different. When I asked if they were more then just friend my husband answered yes! While my mouth was hanging open he said ‘Annie I love you and her both. If something happened to both of you at the same time I’d have trouble deciding who to help first.’ floored numb and not thinking to clearly I plotted my next move.

No clue what possessed me, but I asked to go with them that day. In my mind, I thought perhaps he would be comparing us both, but I wanted to see if this was a shared affair, did she love him or what he just in a delusional phase. He is a bipolar, and i know sometimes he was delusional.  

We stopped at a bar, and had a few drinks and she took off on a motorcycle with someone she had picked up in the bar. We followed in her car, I did not realize how drunk he was until we were hitting 90 on back roads that had so many curves the teenagers call it a rollercoaster. When we arrived safely, I knew I was not getting back into that car with him.

We had stopped at a swimming hole and the next series of events are what changed my life forever. This will tell you why I made the desion to be a single mom.

I love those Indian summer days of fall when the sun shines down on everything bathing it in warmth that will be short lived. Soon winter will be here, and with the cold nights now, you would suspect that winter is just around the corner. On warm days like yesterday, are different. The days inspire people to be outdoors for just one more day before the snow flies.   

All around the small town where I live you see Halloween decorations in anticipation of next week’s holiday. My children are too old for candy gathering, but my grandchildren are heading out with their momma. I miss the days when I would venture out with my children in a way but now days I look at it is a way to have a few hours of uninterrupted writing time.  Let us face it, everyone else will be handing out candy or taking their kids out, so I can get busy. You have too grab free minutes everywhere you can when you are a freelance writer.

I don’t know about you but I will be glad when we all get a chance to vote, as all this crap will end. The crap I speak of is the senseless name calling, and in any other forum wouldn’t this be considered slander? I am sure this is not the type of behavior that we wish to teach our children. Yet every election year that is what our elections show them.

Whom am I voting for? Why does this matter? I fear it is all becoming the worst joke of the century. Elections just seem to bring out the worst of all of those politicians.

It was not too long ago that Hillary and Obama went head to head, yet when he won the right to move on, they talked about joining forces. Come on how stupid was that, it seemed as if all the garbage they said to each other was forgotten and forgiven.  McCain thought Obama was going to pick a woman so he gets on to run with him. McCain thought it might help him to get one for himself. Now Palin may have been a good choice but after seeing some photos on the net I knew was altered, I have second thoughts.  It is just the thought of Palin doing that type of stuff that turns my stomach. Some says the only reason she is there is because she is hot, that is sad. Bidden maybe a good choice but we’ve all heard the slander about him. I don’t know if Bidden is a good choice or his partner, I just want the crap done and over with as soon as possible.  

It does not matter if you think like me or not, we all know good begets good and bad begets evil. Karma is Karma no matter your race, religion, or thoughts. If you do things, which harm someone else or do something that brings a frown to their face, you will not feel good inside. That is karma taking effect, change it by doing something nice.

Here are a few easy ways you can give good karma today

Send a personal note to a friend not a forward.

Leave a positive comment on a forum

Remove the names on forwards and use BCC options

Call a friend rather than sending an email

Send a funny e-card to someone feeling down.

Today here in northeastern
Pennsylvania the wind blew hard all day, as it does each time this year. This it what I call the killing wind, the leaves blow off the trees after a few days of this type of wind. This means that soon mother earth will begin to get her winter blanket, which is a present from Mother Nature.

I love snow as much as the next person does as long as I do not have to deal with the fluffy white stuff. I love to sit inside and watch the snow cover the earth, but it is much too cold out there for me! I have teenage sons who are perfect for shoveling the sidewalks. I have no car so there is no need for them to shovel the driveway.

We’ve had snow here before this early in the year but it is a long time off for now, as there is not a whiff of it in the air. The smell of snow in case you are wondering is that crisp cold air that precedes the snow.

Our family gathered last Sunday for our annual pumpkin-carving event. While this may not sound special, it sure is special. I come from a huge family of seven children, and we all have spouses or significant others and most of us have grand children. With my parents in attendance, this year 56 attended.  Not all of us were there, because of work commitments. All told, we have 62 family members from my parents who are in their mid sixties right down to the two who were born early this summer.

This year two of my younger sisters went to a pumpkin farm and bought out the whole farm. They brought over 100 pumpkins in various sizes and shapes, you see everyone who wants to carve or color a pumpkin is welcome too. Some of the kids and grandkids like to create more then one pumpkin so there are always plenty brought.

After we were done carving our pumpkins, we cleaned up the mess and then ate hot dogs around the campfire.  

Moments of realization are a great change after months of struggling. I finally had one and it was a huge wake up call. However, it was a harsh reality to wake up and realize what I was doing. I know I can use that knowledge to unbury myself.

I am not a quitter by any means, and I have to erase those thoughts from my head. Last week I was about to give up on freelance writing, because I felt so overwhelmed. I needed someone to take me by the hand and shake me into reality. I am a good writer if I take my time and not whiz through articles to get them done.

I did not quit college when my husband left in my sixth semester at finals time. Even with the stress, I did okay on those finals. I graduated the nest semester with two associates’ degrees because I worked my butt off. I did two 2-year programs in 3 and half years! That last semester in college I was a single parent did classes’ full time and worked third shift. I napped when I could because I had to. I did 12-hour shifts in a nursing home as an aide to survive because I had too, and I write because I need to keep the money flowing in. Writing is a passion of mine and always had been, but I hate content writing for lower paying markets with a passion. I want to write short stories, novels, and articles for print, which pay higher.