3 generations under one roof

When most people mention holiday gathering and family in the same breath, it usually involves a brawl either physical or verbal at the holiday gathering. I am so glad that when its time for a holiday gathering, that I am part of a unique family.

My unique family all live with twenty miles of our parents, so we gather often. Many are holiday gatherings but sometimes a group of us will gather for other things. There are many people out here in this world whose families are split to the far corners of the world for various reasons and I am so glad ours is not. When I lived in
South Korea, I felt so lonely without them.

The Thanksgiving holiday gathering was not an exception, as we all gathered in one place and it was peaceful for the most part. Even the noise that was present was happy noise. We had eight little ones from seven months right up to almost 2 years old, and there were seven kids of preschool age. Nine kids from six years right up to seventeen and forty adults. That’s 64 people, and there were 14 of us not there. Big family, yes, but two of those adults were my parents and the rest were their offspring.

A few years ago, at a wedding ceremony I was officiating at the entire assembly of people laughed when I introduced the newly married couple. Let me take you back so you understand the day as I do, we shall see if you understand my horror. 

I am a woman of God, you see a minister of an interfaith church. I consider my self open-minded person; I take wedding ceremonies very seriously. On a beautiful spring day, I was standing in front of those gathered before me.

“Do you Lisa take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? Do you promise to love only him forever until death do you part?” I asked.

Lisa standing there in her white dress filled with sequins from the neckline to the eight-foot train lying behind her. She was a beauty that is for sure.  Gazing loving upward at her future husband who was almost a foot taller then herself she half whispered, “I do.” 

Dick smiled down at his bride while holding her tiny hand in his. He was a proud man, a very hard worker to boot. He looked stunning in the rich black tuxedo he had rented for the occasion.

It was Dick’s turn so I began asking this giant of a man the same as I asked his bride.

“Do you Dick take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? Do you promise to love only her forever until death do you part?” I asked.

With a smile that angels from heaven above could see, Dick replied, “I do, I certainly do” He beamed down a smile that made it seem as if only the two existed in this world.

I as a Minster thought it was the look of pure love. A love that would stand the test of time; no man could break. It was as if the rest of us in the room did not exist I knew this would be a solid marriage.

“By the power Vested in me by God” I paused as a young girl came running up the isle.

“Momma, Momma” she crying her pig tails flying behind her.  We all watched as she ran to her momma, almost tripping on the train. “Up, UP” she cried upon reaching her momma a full two-steps ahead of her winded grandma.

Lisa scooped up their daughter into her arms, quickly regaining her composure. 

When silence fell over the assembled crowd once more, I continued announcing the couple. “I am proud to announce Mr.”

“My Mommy got married to my daddy” She squealed to the assembled crowd; it took forever to get people settled back down. Laughter filled that grand old church, that day.

That day I officiated over the wedding on that beautiful spring day will live in infamy. In my heart, I could have never put together his first name in a sentence with his last name, without laughing myself. That little girl named Sarah Head saved my honor that day.

Last night Ray and I went to the valley singles dance. Truthfully, many couples go there to dance, as it is a non-drinking and non-smoking dance. There are people of all ages at this dance, but last night was the first time I seen a teenager. I enjoy dancing close with Ray, as we don’t go dancing anywhere else, as he is a non-drinker and non-smoker.

There are door prizes, plenty of food, and people. What makes this best is it is a wide mixed of people getting together to have fun dancing. In our town, there are also a few group homes for mentally challenged people and the dance allows them to get out and have fun. Everyone dances together, and our friend Doug who comes with his girlfriend Betsy often dances with one of these women. This mentally challenged woman just smiles so big. A smile that lights up her whole face and makes me smile inside as well because it is so genuine.     

Yesterday I briefly introduced Ray, my boyfriend. It is a cool story how we met, and many people are surprised locally. A few friends thought I should begin dating after I threw out my husband in June of 2005 but I was afraid.  I got into plentyoffish’s web site and talked with a few men. I went to dinner with one but for the most part I was not thrilled with the choices.  I had been on the site for eight months and was ready to give it up, and I got a short email from a man that said if I wanted clean talk to write to him. I thought cool. Here is one that might stand above the rest. I wrote to him on March 6, giving him my yahoo address, and a few hours later, when he got home after work on March 7th he paged me on yahoo.

He had typed that he was from
Australia which very much got my attention. He and his wife had separated am few days after my own marriage broke up. We talked for a few hours on yahoo, then he said call me, so I did. We talked five hours that first phone call and I was amazed at this man. My first words to him when he answered the phone was, OMG you have an accent. He answered no you do. I laughed, and it began a wonderful friendship that has blossomed into a wonderful love affair.

For the first month, we would spend hours talking on the phone, getting to know each other. Yes, we had met, and did our first date with my friend Chrissie as a chaperone. We went out with my friends at least once a week, but never had we been on a solo date.

I wondered how I had ever missed him, as he lived in my valley for a long time. In northeastern PA, it is hard to not have an accent and not be noticed. For many years, he has been the only one with an Australian accent locally. He was out in public at a place I went on a weekly basis yet I had never met him or heard him talk. He works in the local Wal-Mart.

By April 1, 2006, we were dating exclusively and it is nice. We both come from large families so we understand family. My parents and siblings like him, as do my nieces and nephews. So many similarities it is unreal, we are both 1 of seven children, our parents each have 23 grandchildren,   Heck even our ex’s share the same birth date, and our first wedding anniversary are two months to the day apart. Now it is November of 2008, we are still going strong, and I am so glad to have found him.  

Today here in northeastern
Pennsylvania the wind blew hard all day, as it does each time this year. This it what I call the killing wind, the leaves blow off the trees after a few days of this type of wind. This means that soon mother earth will begin to get her winter blanket, which is a present from Mother Nature.

I love snow as much as the next person does as long as I do not have to deal with the fluffy white stuff. I love to sit inside and watch the snow cover the earth, but it is much too cold out there for me! I have teenage sons who are perfect for shoveling the sidewalks. I have no car so there is no need for them to shovel the driveway.

We’ve had snow here before this early in the year but it is a long time off for now, as there is not a whiff of it in the air. The smell of snow in case you are wondering is that crisp cold air that precedes the snow.

I often visited with my maternal grandparents in the carefree summers of my childhood. I loved it, we went to the fairs where she often had baked goods or produce entered. My grandma did not just enter items in the county fair; she entered every type of fair that was possible. I loved going everywhere with them, I felt as if I was the chosen grandchild out of many.  

She entered heads of cabbage, carrots, radishes, corn, and everything imaginable from her garden in these fairs. We would always weed the garden in the morning, each day doing a row as grandpa was behind us doing his magical touches. Grandma would try to tell Grandpa How to do everything, and I think sometimes he just pretended to do something wrong just to get her to yell. He would always reply, “Ruth the garden will grow, even if you do it the other way.” She would give him a look as if to say, “Do not push it Jonas” and I knew better then to let the giggles escape.  Grandma was meticulous about her garden and if things were not done the way she liked exactly, she got upset.   

I learned a lot those days about how to grow huge vegetables and fruits without Miracle Grow or other manufactured fertilizers. No food went into the garbage can in her house, nor the dog dish. While most people would toss food scraps into a pail for the compost pile, my grandma required everything in the pail to be mashed.   

The pail was brought outside where it was mashed near the garden, and as you mashed she would toss in deformed but fine vegetables as the sunset. The good with the bad makes it all turn out right she would say.  The pail was then dumped out on the ground behind the garden on top of the dirt and other food waste from the kitchen. 

Even on those days when we would visit a fair, grandma required garden work every morning and every evening. She never used a hose on her garden when it needed it, instead she would scoop rainwater caught in barrels under the eave troughs. She said tap water was very bad for a garden of life, and looking at her bounty at the end of the season along with the ribbons from the fairs you knew she was right.  Grandma and grandpa are both long gone, but their spirit remains and as I tend my own garden I use the same things my grandma taught me 30 years ago.